ex grandslam

just came back yesterday from ex grandslam, a five day four night field camp that, as its codename suggests, is one where the cadets will be slammed, grandly no less. the whole exercise was modeled after battalion-level exercise, and that could be a hint that we are probably going to be posted to unit... how depressing. here's the day-by-day recap of this really harsh, sleepless 5 day torturefest.

day one & two:

arrived at our so-called conc area, in friendly forces area, where we had to harbour and dig a shellscrape for two days. the first night i barely had enough sleep.the first area i was given to dig was unfortunately bare and was a total virgin site. That meant no shellscrape was ever dug there, and the ground was so hard and impossible to dig that halfway through, when my encik came and tried digging, he himself cannot get a handful of soil out. so he gave me a new location, after my 3 hours of futile digging. displeased, yes, but at least i got an easier site to dig. so i started digging, for 2 days and 1 night. at night we were allowed to sleep (yay) before we moved out at 2am for the next 'mission'...

day three:

we moved out to my foundation term UO area at neo tiew, marching 5km to the area. this was really tiring because a) i had to carry a medic stretcher, along with hard plates, wearing soft plates and so much water and b) i was marching at a time when i was suppose to be asleep. the only time when i had to moved at 2am singapore time was when i went to europe. so tiring!

i had to run around, not knowing what to do when people called 'medic! medic!' because I HAVE NO BLOODY IDEA what to do! they just shove me this role and expect me to know? so i had to act like i was doing something lol. bad experience, felt so lost and confused and i kept asking my instructor what i'm supposed to do. they probably didn't know either, so i was left running around, up and down, pretending to do first aid and crap.

after this, we moved out at around 11am to yishun? we were made to wait in this area infested with giant red ants and centipedes. i had to move around to make sure not too many ants climb and build some nest inside my pockets lol. feels really yicky. we boarded the chinook for the very short 15 mins ride where i can take a small peek outside. we flew above the waters (for safety reason) along the straits of malacca (i think) cos we can see malaysia. after we boarded we had to go to our new area, with me, carrying a matador, feeling so tired and shagged. went to our area, and it was already evening time and the sky was darkening as every minute passed. we were given our position (thank goodness i got a relatively open area with clean soil clear of debris! i'm so grateful for that really wonderful spot!!) to dig our 2nd shell scrape and A BLOODY FIRE TRENCH. dug my shell scrape until 2 plus? after that i slept and did not bother to do the firetrench. resting my mentally-exhausted mind and physically-fatigued body, even for that short, stingy period was pertinent that i survive the next few days.

day four and five:

the lack of proper sleep has made me unable to differentiate when anything happened. so i lumped day four and five together. i can only remember digging late at night, dozing off, waking up and started to dig again until it's morning. on one night we were scolded by our pc for our lackluster firetrench, and he was questioning us why we are not digging but sleeping. then we got a 'turnout'. i didn't even know it was a turnout until my friend mentioned that there was a turnout at 1am and i was like "there was a turnout?". he told me what happened just now was a turnout and i'm like 'oh. it was?!" i was probably half-asleep all the time.

in the day we went out for section battle course where we basically walk one round and then got attacked and we had to attack back...

okay i'm totally losing interest in finishing this post i'm going to sum everything up.

so basically after digging the trench we had to do defence when the other platoon attacks us. and then in the end we had to redo everything because we did not do it satisfactorily. so after redoing, they made us bring everything up the slope to the designated HQ site, and everything out JUST TO CHECK FOR EQUIPMENT!! totally playing with our mind. after that they made us keep everything inside and we had to cover up the holes we dug and it took a little less than 2 hours. after that we gathered, helped keep all the digging tools, do all the standard stuff before waiting for perhaps 2 hours to wait for the bus! they rushed us so much just so we can wait for 2 hours? really?


whatever. i hope never to do this again. great experience, too bad i never want to experience this ever again.

typical human behaviour

I'm probably going to be in infantry for the rest of my life, until I ROD that is. More chiong sua coming up undoubtedly. I don't know whether I should be happy I didn't get into recce - which is way more challenging than being in infantry - and got into ASLC instead. Because I don't feel relieved at all. I'm complaining why I didn't get into other vocations but got into ASLC instead. Typical behaviour that modern humans exhibit, always wanting something better.

I might have a chance to OOC from ASLC, given that my shins are hurting rather badly now, especially after the 7km run. But then again a dilemma crops up: should I carry on or OOC? I want to become a 3SG one way or another, but I'm afraid I will not get promoted after I OOC and become a corporal. The thought that I can possibly OOC anytime I want has, rather remarkably, made me want to press on for the remaining few weeks. The idea that I can quit anytime imbued in me this new-found motivation. Why? I reckon that this thought just makes the whole 12.5 weeks seem less daunting to overcome.

How? What a confusing situation though, complicated by many other factors and inputs. Of course I understand that my legs are really important for the rest of my life, duh. and I certainly do not want to get rheumatism when I grow old. But then again an OOC (a noun here) is not well received by the other cadets. They think they malinger, chaokeng, complain about them. It's really these things that is the number one priority SAF should correct so that it's trainings are safe. You see how people don't dare to report sick or fall out in BMT because they are threatened that they will 'fail', being seen as malingering et al. There's a particular cynicism displayed by peers and even superiors when someone reports sick. It's these peer and superior pressure that compromises training safety. These are the real problems and these problems seem to be severely underestimated by the top.

To end the post, here is a classic video. OMG SHE IS SO FUNNY. I think she can sing well if she learn to sing the basics right first lol. She keeps trying to do all those vibrato high note low note shizzle AND IT'S SO FUNNY!! OMGOMGMOMG

It has been 2 months,

It has been 2 months, yet time flies. The seemingly long eight-week Basic Section Leaders Course (BSLC) passed in a blink of an eye. Perhaps it was the two extra-long weekends, or the book-outs on Friday, but one thing is for sure: I felt it was short compared to the 9-week BMT, too short, even. That's not to say the government should revise the time allocation, of course. It seems time jumps leap and bound when I'm not aware of it, and suddenly I'm graduating from the course.

The whole BSLC period was kind of a blur. Most of the time I probably wasn't even looking; I was just seeing things without registering any thoughts in my brain. My most memorable experience was probably UO. It was a lot of fun clearing all the rooms! The field camp was alright, less shag than BMT probably because it was a mere 3 days.

What I cherished most was the independence we had. We were bestowed the power to run some things ourselves, to complete activities on our own, and I was glad for it. It was a lot more fun when we had to navigate around the area on our own without supervision. Our metaphorical leash was loosened up a little. It made things a bit more enjoyable.

The shitty thing is that I'll be posted to ASLC for my pro-term. Seems like karma isn't really working around here is it? Or maybe it is, lol, for I was a tad of a bitch (just a wee little) when I'm really pissed during outfield. Whatever. I'll just have to take things in my stride and hope I will end up as a faculty or BMT instructor. Just not guards or infantry unit please, and unlike Band Perry, I would not like to die young.

My faculty instructor during BSLC made ASLC sounds like fun. We have some laser tag games, clear buildings during UO and stuff. But I'm not exactly looking forward to all outfields. I HATE OUTFIELDS, yet somehow I got posted to this annoying course. So many outfields: live firing, field camps, UO (it's okay if we get to sleep in buildings though hehe), and worse of all route march!! AND RIVER CROSSING WTF I WILL GET MY SHOES ALL WET AGAIN. I hate it.

I hope these 12.5 weeks will pass as fast for me as it had for my 8-week BSLC course. I'm in a section where I don't know anyone, and staying in a small bunk with 5 other people that, while the feeling is cosy, I don't exactly know nor like (for now, anyway). damn it.

AND I HEARD DELTA IS BLOODY INEFFICIENT. NOOOOO.

POP pop POP

Yay my POP is finally over! The excruciating 24km march from Changi to Marina Bay, overnight, might I add, was definitely exhausting. I found myself sleeping while marching along, since we were not encouraged to sing. Bleargh. Singing is the best way to keep my spirits up. I can feel myself dozing off and dreaming, before I'm on the verge of tripping when I woke up and I realised I'm out of the line. This happened repeatedly for more than 10 times. When I started eating sweets my energy started shooting up like fireworks! Halfway through, though, I got really annoyed with one guy in front, despite him feeling unwell, because he kept slowing down then catching up, and I had to keep changing my pace as a result. I was really that tired that I did not have the energy to remain positive. I kept asking the person in front to 'compact pls'. When you're as shag as I am, one can really becomes less sympathetic to others, I realised now. Especially with all the paraphernalia shit I'm carrying in my backpack, other people's concerns were simply not my priority then.

As we walked towards our destination, Singapore icons start to appear along the rising skyline. I barely spotted MBS through a forage of leaves and branches before I spotted the bright lights of the Flyer. I read/heard somewhere that the purpose of marching to the city is for the recruits (read: me) to see, as a soldier, what I am protecting, and all the people along the way that I'm serving national service for - 8-year old angmoh girls cheering the soldiers telling us 'we can do it!' while we lunge continuously forward like some bloody dead zombie from L4D. It's these sweet moments that make you feel happy, at least for that miserable few seconds.

And at last we finally started to reach the opposite side of MBS.. The only thing that stands between us and our destination is the ungodly Benjamin Shears Bridge. You know, only the tallest (20m) and longest (1.8km) bridge in Singapore? So we had to climb like 4 or 5 stories worth of stairs up the bridge (and the distance is not even included in the 24km march). Thankfully, the stairs are lower in height than how they would be normally, plus they also gave us a break before we started to ascend the stairs. Along the way up, there were motivation quotes like "You can do it!!!" and "Your friends have done it, so can you!" and "Just a few more steps to go!!". In the end, despite the initial fear, it wasn't all that bad. Except for the nasty abrasion no thanks to sand particles caught between my pants, it was basically like climbing in my full battle order back to bunk - which I did countless times, after SITEST, the route marches, field camp, plus impromptu backpack checks.

Speaking of abrasion, WHY IN THE NAME OF GAGA DO I NOT EXPERIENCE ANY BLEDDY ABRASION IN MY THIGHS FOR THE PAST 5 ROUTE MARCHES, YET FOR THE LAST ROUTE MARCH FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON I ACTUALLY GOT BRUISED UP SO BADLY? BLOODY HELL.

Back to my linear plot structure, after ascending the bridge and crossing the Singapore river, the highway became endlessly winding. We were made to walk a complete round further away from our destination, before crossing a traffic light and finally reaching the F1 pitstop - our pitstop for a 45 minutes breakfast-costume change-rest time. I slept lying down on my fieldpack looking up at the night sky and the stars, occasionally cocooned by the red clouds floating like candy floss across the darkness. The night was eerily quiet, free of the noise excessive traffics make during normal waking hours. After the break, we were told to move. a few hundred meters, probably, below the seats at Marina Bay Platform. Yay! But I would rather lay in that position for the whole day though.

My mom told me that when they began climbing up the stairs to get to her seats at the Platform, they got to peek downwards at us beyond the staircase' railings. She commented on how the whole place had such a foul stench. You can't really blame us - we just had a 24km march and lacked the luxury of bathing, after all. Plus, the field pack and ILBV were soaked in sweat so after wearing it, essentially it was back to square one. It made changing into a new uniform an utterly futile effort.

Everyone lined up in their contingent level and I sat down and slept for a good generous 20 minutes. By the time we stood up, we were preparing ourselves mentally for our final parade as 'maggots of the earth' - an affectionate term for us recruits. When the emcee begun speaking, one can hear the flutter of some recruits cheering away. While the emcee spoke "...They had just gone through the grueling 24 km route march..." the guy beside me in the contingent remarked to me, saying how terming the march as 'grueling' was a severe understatement. I agree. I thought it would be rather like calling Hitler a murderer. Very much an overt understatement. Usually at the end of route marches I'm high and very happy, but this time, because of the severe lack of sleep, I'm still happy but not really feeling that high. I felt like just siting down and not letting my thighs touch the pants due to the damn abrasions. These abrasions are seriously just uncalled for! I should have just plastered my whole thigh just in case, but what the hell, I didn't really think I would experience abrasions. My thighs don't even touch so what in the world!?

What a long post about my route march. I kept feeling like the parade march was not as good as I wanted it to be though. We did not wheel properly around the pivot cos the line of soldiers 'bent' too fast so the whole thing did not look that impressive. I wished we had more rehearsals to learn how to wheel because we did not learn how to do it AT ALL! Maybe next time when I find out my new posting I get to march more impressively lol.

It's also amazing the things I see and learn during my short BMT phase. People passing out in front of you because of the scorching sun and how he was raised up to rest on my legs? Priceless. I'm not a tree stump you know? Also, I learned to see things from a much different perspective. Understanding things that I dreaded really made it much more tolerable. It made me reexamine my previous criticisms and opinions. Or maybe I've just been brainwashed, I don't know!

The funny thing before POP was that when we get to have snacks, we get things like Pop-corn or some treats named POP. All POP for our Passing Out Parade LOL. I'm pretty sure it's an intentional joke!

Life in BMT

There is always this shitty feeling I get when booking in back to 'resort' island. Prima facie, the whole place looks like some Maldives resort (sans the clear, blue sea), with a swimming pool, pool deck and running tracks situated just beside the coast. Sea breeze permeates the whole area, and my sight is mostly filled with the blue skies. It's the same sight as when I'm in Paris, as the buildings in my area are all less than 5 levels tall. This allows the whole sky to open up above me. At night, when I'm in the forest trail or something, I can see so many stars. It's really beautiful and it's something I don't get to see back on Singapore.

This really depressing feeling is triggered by the things we do inside. Usually the activities which I remember are just the real nasty ones - so the feeling evoked is equally bad. But once I book back in, it seems that I adapt quite fast and the feeling just fades away. The homesickness is usually triggered during stressful periods - the start of every day, for instance, brings this dread of things to come. But at night I become happier, walking with lighter steps because I know, thankfully, that I'd survived the day!

In retrospect, NS BMT was not as tough as I imagined it to be. I had this crazy imagination, that is equal part awesome and unfortunate. I held this thought that the whole NS will be a torture: Punishments every day; living by strict, inflexible rules and regulations where the slightest lax will bring forth and unleash... the punishment; no welfare. Well, except maybe the last part. I realised that, while Viper coy is not exactly first up there on top in terms of 'xiongness', we do not enjoy much welfare. Except that we are all given seven hours of sleep every night without any turnout. I guess either 1) we're really good at doing things stealthily; or more likely 2) the OC wants us to get enough rest so that we can perform better during the day, without dozing off halfway through demonstrations whatnot. At least that's what he said to us when he gave us more than 9 hours of rest the day before SITEST. But on second thought, perhaps he really just wanted us to all go command school. The welfare is probably just a peripheral benefit derived from his own personal wish...

Back on topic, my very vivid imagination has prepared me mentally for the nine-week long ride ahead. Somehow field camp was not as tiring as I thought it should have been. A lot of times we were just high-kneeling or sitting there, waiting for the next activity. I presume the sheer size of the company makes it time-consuming for the superiors to coordinate everything. I dug my shell-scrape rather quickly due to my strategically choosing a location with an already-preexisting shell-scrape. However, the soil has to somehow be wet. Hence it's freaking mud I'm 'digging' if you even call taking mud out 'digging'. It's like molding some clay crap. From my experience I've found this easier way to take out the excess soil: I will sit down along the edge and just toss the soil over my shoulder. It makes things so much easier! Yay you're welcome for this fabulous tip. There was so much time given to us for the digging (around 3/4 of the day) that I can just sit down and chat, have high-tea session eating and sharing biscuits from our accessories pack. I even managed to help one of my bunk mates dig his shell-scrape lol. That's how much spare time we actually have during field camp. In field camp you wait for an extended period of time not experienced back in coy line, but when you have to set off to learn some demonstration thinggy, they will rush you, ask you to double up and run there. They should just let us walk there early.

My favourite moments was when I finish running. The endorphins released make me happy! I just feel satisfied, optimistic and sunshine! It also happens after I finish route-marching and field camp. It's just such a positive feeling, which is probably why I like running now. The depressing thing is having to do these workouts after Ability Group Run (AGR) and Speed Training. I had to do these lunges, squats, crunches and pushups (which is the worse, EVER). Doing push-ups is just pure, concentrated torture. It just doesn't feel good I don't like doing it! Thank goodness, for some reason unfathomable to me or any other people I know, that my Officer commanding decide to ban using push-ups as punishment. Yay. (Of course this rule applies only when OC is there lol)

Initially I wanted to record what I do every day and to make it a point to blog it frequently, so that future enlistees can google it and find out exactly what they will be doing and keep their expectations in check. I desperately wanted to know what goes on in that isolated island and how the whole place will be like before I enlisted. I wondered why everything inside seems to be so mysterious and not-spoken of online. But now that I'm enlisted, I find myself totally too lazy and tired and unmotivated to do this shit. Every moment I book out is precious, free civilian life that cannot be wasted on frivolous things like recalling whatever scheiBe happened last week. I'm just glad it's over and I'll be equally glad to dismember that strand of memory from my brain.

Oonce I book in today, it will be my last week (and from the looks of things, one of the more easier week). The best thing about POP will be the worse too. Meeting great new people that I've treasured over the nine weeks. Living with other people 24/7 you really learn to tolerate your differences and become less nitty-picky over little details. On the flip side I also learned that some people may not become the most compatible friend for me, because I've become totally intolerant of some people's behaviour. But I keep quiet anyway LOL.

After the one week break, it will be crap all over again. I hope I meet good people like my section mates, if not life will be miserable. If you ask me to do this over again, I would give you a hell to the no. Though I still relish the experience of not showering and sleeping, running, sweating and rolling in the mud in the same attire for those five, disgusting, unhygenic days, I do not enjoy reliving it ever again. I might get into SCS, where I will probably experience this again but until then I shall try to keep my personal hygiene standards as high as pre-NS level. Though it will be really difficult. Especially since my nose has seemingly become slightly immune to bad odours...

Oh well, this is just the very beginning of my two-year long journey as an underpaid NSman. Good luck to me in my future vocation after BMT! I hope I get MP. Yes this is me Expressing Interest please accept me!!!

Letter to GAGA

Dear Lady Gaga,

I have read the most unfortunate news that you'll be releasing your video on the 5th of May during an episode of American Idol. The 5th of May happens to be the very day when I will be enlisting to serve my very nation. It's not very judicious of you to miss out on such a grave detail of my leaving! For an unbearable, moribund fortnight I deeply regret for my being unable to witness the very spectacle that is your music video.

Sincerely,

Me

TL;DR?

LADY GAGA, Y U NO RELEASE MUSIC VIDEO EARLIER??!!!?!? U BITCH :(

BLEARGH

I find postmodernist thoughts and beliefs surprisingly aligned with my own. I dislike - disdain, actually - crappy asshats who continuously perpetuate their own ignorance and who look at the world through their own massively-biased Manichean lenses. Also, whom are selfishly apathetic to other people's beliefs and circumstances other than their own. At the same time, might I add, for them to act as if they are morally superior and righteous. Sounds like too much stuff for one person to do it all? Apparently not! - as their narrow-mindedness paired with their innate ability to constantly boast their own ignorance have proved otherwise.

They often engage in perpetuating reductive and constructive notions of stereotypes and expect everyone to fit into these social constructions. Really? These people's personal philosophies are almost as lame as their inept and archaic way of thinking. As our modern society progresses forward by leaps and bounds, ironically, these people's way of thinking seems to have somehow regressed millenniums backwards. They are probably the same kind of people who happily purports individualism to be ''social deviance' as they deem fit. Yaright. By their same logic I would say, that they are crappy bitches.

No, I certainly am not of the opinion that they are 'wrong' because absolute truths does not exist. What I'm trying to express is that they should try to look at things in a different light. Why does A have to be B because, however ridiculous, C dictates that, and D, E, F and G agrees with C? Relationships in modern society today are built on weak foundations. It is about none other than a group of people disliking the same people and getting stuck in their own version of 'truths'. People should be awakened to witness how irrational hate always is. I would probably go as far to say that hate is something that is socially-constructed, maintained and perpetuated by peer pressure and herd mentality. Everywhere I look I seem to find such behaviours and it's really annoying when people defiantly ignore life's subtleties and choose to subscribe to a more simplistic, albeit sometimes downright silly, conclusions.


k rant overzxz. don't really feel like doing a 'conclusion' whatnot lol.

I'm so lazy

I'm so lazy to start painting my UOB painting. Ugh it's so lame I can't even know whether I can finish it in time before I enlist into hellhole. But that aside, I had just submitted my postcard designs for Singapore Maritime Week 2011. Have you heard of it before? Neither have I.

I saw their ad and I thought, "Since I'm lazing around reading books and doing non-labour jobs sporadically, I might as well join the competition!" Yay me and my soliloquy!

And then in the very last minute - actually 3 hours before the submissions closing time - they decided to email back and inform me that I have to send a minimum set of 3 postcards. I misread it somehow into 'a set of minimum of 3 postcards' so I did, like, 5 and sent it in. They replied saying I needed one more. I panicked a little, but no fret! I would tell myself (LOL) for I can just magically create a postcard out of nowhere in 2 hours time. AND I DID. It's not a bad design but way better revised and coherent and postcard-friendly than the previous designs in my head that were along similar portrayal themes thinggy.

I need to conceptualise my UOB paintings, and somehow everything I'm writing in my essays (for USP, anyway) seems to revolve around the same topic as my painting themes. Geez it's like my brain follows trends and stuff then dump it after I squeezed all the living essence out of these inspirations. Then they die and I never would enjoy revisiting such ideas. Maybe that's why I dislike econs because I have to reread the same things again and again and because I totally neglect to practice I decided to waste money sitting for it during A'levels. I'm so lazy cos I never wrote an extra essay for econs without the teacher asking. Of which she never ask! Sounds like a good deal? NOT IF YOU GOT A FREAKING 'C' FOR ECONS OMGWTF?? Unlike my econs, for my GP and Art I wrote so many essays I can already compile a book. And published two volumes. And republished, and chop Revised!, Updated! and Latest Edition! because there were so many drafts that followed every essay as.

You know what? I'm totally skipping SMU application. Firstly, it is a business school. Not my business to be there - LOL okay bad pun I'll stop. Secondly, if I really wanted to study business Nanyang Business School in NTU sounds much better. I read that its MBA is in the Top 30 business school. Hmmmmm. I rather attend Harvard though. Also, actuarial science sounds awesome, like something to do with birds, canaries, science and maths. But it's some business course that earns macadamia nuts which is, like, the opposite of peanuts. I've gone such a big round around the whole topic. Seriously I totally have ADD when I type and talk. Thirdly, it's a city campus, meaning there's no accomodation/hostel/hall/residences? Hell to the no! The school's seem to be a mugger school too. I passed by there for weeks when I worked in the Substation and there was a lot of students solemly studying. Or maybe it was because I was wearing my earphones. Regardless, and in conclusion, might I add - though this might disobey the laws of normal sentence structuring whatever - I'm not going to SMU! Or NTU if I can get into NUS. That's my only choice though. I deleted something I typed in case scholarship people decided to google me and find my blog, somehow, I'll probably be disqualified. Self-censorship rules!!!

For my free SAT online practice, I got like 1950/2400 on the practice test without studying and finishing all the reading questions in half the time because I was sleepy and it was midnight. I still think there's room for (a lot more) improvement considering that everyone applying to Ivy Leagues will be scoring between 2.1-2.4K, so I will work damn hard. I thought I would be secretly intelligent such that I will magically get all the questions right and I score 2300. But maybe studying would be a better option! Hopefully I'll do well enough for SAT to get me into Williams, Amherst, Swarthmore, Duke, Yale, Harvard, or UC-Berkeley.

Any one will do so if you are a dean from these institutions please contact me AND PLEASE OFFER ME A PLACE IN 2013 I'LL SEND OVER THE APPLICATION FORM AND RECORDS TO YOU ASAP THANKS. xo!

SCHEISSE FML

I had this genius conception of a totally new idea! In my head I was beginning to flesh out my ideas and meaning when, upon researching a short-story that inspired this concept, I stumbled upon a Wikipedia page that describes what I wanna write!?!?!?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unreliable_narrator

WHAT IS THIS!?!?!?

OMG?? FML!!

Apparently in this post-modern world whatever I could think of inventing/writing has already been done so! How unfair! If I were born hundred years earlier, for all you know you could be studying my concepts LOL. Except it would be in Chinese and from China. Probably burnt by Qin Shi Huang though. Whatever my history timeline is screwed up.

OMG THE MOST GORGEOUS JEWELLERY (FOR ME)

OMG I JUST SAW THE MOST GORGEOUS JEWELLERY FOR ME.

Here's one of my favourite (I like basically everything, so...):


Click here to go to Garbage Dress's blog post.

I DIE!